The One who Being Left

…is me. Yeah. I’m in mourning period. This is because one of my besties and my office mates is gonna leave this small town for taking his scholarship. And two of my ‘sisters’ in Bengkulu are also gonna leave soon. One is because she’s getting married and wanna live and work with her husband in Klaten. And another one is because she has to study in Bintaro, Jakarta, as well as my office mate.

Oh gosh, this is so sad. I’m still wondering, why am I the one who being left? Why the people I love and I like so much has to leave me? Is this some kind of curse or what? Because honestly I dont really make good friends in here. Most of my best friends live outside this little town. Hell, I don't have any boyfriend. And now those who are still live beside me have to go? Me hates it. I don't even wanna live alone, but now I'd have to.

And then the good Lord tell me this (via Henri Nouwen):

Every time we make the decision to love someone, we open ourselves to great suffering, because those we most love cause us not only great joy but also great pain.   The greatest pain comes from leaving.  When the child leaves home, when the husband or wife leaves for a long period of time or for good, when the beloved friend departs to another country or dies … the pain of the leaving can tear us apart.  

Still, if we want to avoid the suffering of leaving, we will never experience the joy of loving.  And love is stronger than fear, life stronger than death, hope stronger than despair.  We have to trust that the risk of loving is always worth taking.

Guess I have to remind myself many times, that I have to catch you up.. SOON.. Wait me there! *Oh, no, why am I crying?